Many would argue for the The Rare Bitch Project T-Shirt Additionally,I will love this legal line: that if all parties are of consenting age and are able to fully and actively consent, then there’s not a problem with age-gap relationships of any pairing. But much like the equation, this line of thinking doesn’t take into account the difference in power between an 18-year-old and a 68-year-old, and as we know the law is rarely created in favor of the more vulnerable, in reality it’s worth a little more consideration. When I was 17, I had a short relationship with a man in his 60s. Then, it felt good—the sex was great, we were both totally consenting, and of course we never went public with it. Behind our closed doors it felt like we were some kind of equals because even though the power dynamic was askew, who held that power so often shifted between us.
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Yes, there is a power dynamic to be reckoned with in a May-December relationship, but debates about age gaps often assume that the The Rare Bitch Project T-Shirt Additionally,I will love this dynamic we speak of is simply one-way: The older person has all the power; the younger person is exploited. In my experience, the older person in the relationship has the power of experience, sure, but the younger person has the power of youth, of access to culture now. When I dated older men, I derived a certain power from their desire for me, and it really turned me on. In turn, I felt taken care of, like I was learning at the hands of someone who had more life experience than me. I used to say, “Old men fuck, cook, and talk better,” and, in many cases, it was true—especially when my dating pool was a group of confused, shame-filled late-teen, early-20s gay men with late-onset emotional adolescence, just like me.While we like to think that relationships and desire are morally pure and separate from something as ugly as power, in many relationships that’s just not the case. And should it always have to be? It’s the same reason ugly rich guys date models, and models date ugly rich guys. It’s the same reason we so often look for what we don’t have in a partner.
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