I think the Kingship Logo T-Shirt Also,I will get this ocean will always be my favorite biome in the world, but recently I’ve been thinking a lot about bugs, just because I was writing this book during the pandemic and had lots of trips planned to various aquariums and research facilities in order to try to see creatures in person. Functionally, though, I wrote a lot of the book while watching videos on YouTube or looking at photos from scientific papers, and I was also in my New York apartment, so I was like, How can I commune with creatures most easily? I felt very disconnected from nature during the pandemic, but bugs had a real moment, especially with the East Coast lantern fly situation; lately, I’m feeling like I don’t have to do that much work to find connection with, say, a parasitic worm. Like, I’m right there with you. [Laughs.] It’s been a challenge just to do the hard work of becoming familiar with creatures that live in my apartment, and asking myself how can I unlearn the disgusted reaction that I have toward certain bugs.I was also struck by the chapter that delves into the nature of predation in different species, especially because you so deftly applied it to your own experiences with sexual misconduct and instances of (at best) blurred consent. What was the process of engaging with those topics like?
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I mean, it was really hard to write those pieces. I think if I were to pitch the Kingship Logo T-Shirt Also,I will get this book again, I don’t know if I would have written that essay, because I think when I first sold the book, I was very much like I’m going to give as much of myself to this book as I can, and no part of my life is off-limits. Then I had to access a lot of painful memories, and I was like, was it worth it? I think I came to that realization after I had drafted it, so I was like, okay, well, this can just stay and I’m not going to read it again. I think it was a learning process for me throughout writing the book: How can I protect myself while dealing with these memories that I’ve blocked out for three years? I think it was easier to do that through creatures as opposed to feeling like I had to be the only backbone of the piece, or like I had to get super-specific about any of my experience. I’ve read a lot of pieces and books and stories about sexual assault, but I didn’t want to speak at all as an authority or necessarily assess the culture. I wanted to share my own experiences as a way to talk about fear and predation without having to bring a really critical mindset into it.
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